"Tidy Up Challenge" Pt1

I've had many visitors over Christmas and New Year, which meant my place was in a reasonable shape for a while. But now that they've all come and gone, it has deteriorated to a pigsty even the messiest pigs wouldn't want to be around.

It took two measly days before things went downhill. As I glance at my place, which looks like it's been robbed 10 times over, I realise it's officially gone way beyond the denial stage. The time has come to stop procrastinating and face the music.

As most of you know, I'm not a naturally neat person and in my teenage years, my bedroom looked like someone had randomly tipped out the contents of my desk and wardrobe, then spread them around. Much to my irritated parents' dismay, I had argued that it was organised chaos, and having that training of living in constant mess has paid off - even now, when things get pretty bad in my own place, I can fish out my wallet, mobile phone and house keys in midst of piles of clothes/books/junk in seconds.

While I don't let the situation get THAT dire these days, I'm struggling to understand why do I have so much trouble keeping the place clean and not have the pigsty phase at all. The concept sounds ridiculously simple - just put everything back to its place after I've used it. In theory, it should be like brushing my teeth, having a shower, putting on sunscreen and reading newspapers, which I do on a daily basis. I don't have to TRY and do those things and yet, I sometimes can't be bothered doing something so easy as putting my book back in the shelf after I've read it or hanging the jacket back in the closet. What's with that?

Then slowly (and more often, very quickly) those displaced items accumulate and form a mess. A BIG mess. Like right now. Last night, I took refuge in the spare room which is still free from clutter invasion. It's not a calming place to be, and not that I know much about it, it's probably bad feng shui as well.

I definitely don't enjoy living in a sloppily kept house. While I don't subscribe to "cleanliness is next to godliness" school of thought, I still wouldn't mind having enough discipline and organisational skills to have a clean home where I don't ever need to worry about having to spend another day frantically tidying up the place, after being completely fed-up with no one to blame but myself.

I did some research on google, looking for answers, but I haven't found anything particularly useful yet. It's full of information on how to clean, but not so much on how to train oneself to prevent the mess itself. I've asked one of my friends, who has an exceptionally clean place as to how she does it. She says it's just the way it is. She's never had to even think about it. That actually makes sense. Many people who don't find reading books easy but wanted to start, have come to me and asking for tips, but I was stuck for an answer. I've simply always loved reading and have never had to try. And I don't actually know anyone who has conquered untidiness.

I just have to acknowledge this as a bad habit, make a conscious decision to be tidy and turn it into a good habit. It will take considerable effort, but it's worth a shot. I've been told that if you continuously do something for a month, it's meant to stick, so I will start from today and see what happens. Kicking the procrastination habit is next on the list, but I have to do one thing at a time.

Wish me luck - I'll need it.

It's Time for Toxic Colleague Removal

People say there's one at every workplace - a psycho colleague. And we definitely do have a bona fide one at the deli.

I have only casually mentioned her in passing before, because I've been trying to ignore her existence. But lately, her Britney Spears-esque antics have been fascinating me for all the wrong reasons and I thought I might just post my rant on here to share the amusing story with the rest of the world.

This colleague, whom I shall call Psycho Girl (PG for short), came with the shop when my friends took over from the previous owner, who was evidently hallucinating or amply bribed, told them that she is a good worker, well-liked by the regulars, and that they'd be silly to let her go. Now, that's the biggest load of codswallop I've heard, because not only is she rude and surly both to the customers and her colleagues, she's also unprofessional, lazy, volatile, irrational, erratic, unpredictable, generally emotinally unsound and has wild mood swings that make me wonder if she's got the world's worst case of perpetual PMS. She thinks nothing of behaving like a 3-year old with severe disciplinary problems whenever people breathe in the wrong direction, then expects them to like her back!

The photo is obviously not of hers, but it bears such an uncanny resemblance to PG - I'd say they were twins separated at birth.

My friends discovered that they were colossally duped the day they took over, but it was too late; she knew all the ins and outs of the shop, and the previous owner taught them nothing, saying that the PG would pass on the information. But being the deeply unpleasant person that she is, PG used that knowledge as leverage to stay employed. My friends began looking for her replacement immediately, but they had to learn about the shop on their own first so that they could properly train the next person. I came in to fill in the gap while they did that. They finally found another lady who is a friend of a friend with no known psychological issues. She starts next week and I can't tell you how much everyone is looking forward to that.

PG seems to develop an instant infatuation with every male customer with a heart beat, and shamelessly flirts with the startled victims. When her attempts fail (the failure rate currently stands at 100% ) she bursts into tears. She also lives with this delusion that every male customer has a crush on her. When one regular customer brought his new girlfriend to the store, she became enraged and threw the change at the confused guy, and hissed at the girlfriend.

For self-protection reasons, I stayed away from her as much as possible and tried to have minimal contact since I joined the deli. Fortunately, I'm rarely on the same shift as she is, but the chef and the kitchen hand are constantly exposed to her bizarre behaviour and they vent like there is no tomorrow as soon as she goes home. The regulars, various suppliers, the owner, colleagues and even the posties unanimously detest her guts. It's quite amazing - I've never known anyone who is so intensely disliked so universally apart from George W Bush. And even he has supporters.

Both the chef and my friend (the owner) have both been bear hugged by her for no apparent reason, much to their horror. While they have been scarred for life, they are coming to terms with it by telling themselves and anyone who cares to listen that it was a bad dream.

The kitchen hand boy was subjected to her blatant seduction, complete with an unflattering low-cut top and a piece of ribbon masquerading as a skirt on his second shift. If this were anyone else, I'm pretty sure that he'd have taken up her offer, but this was PG. His self-preservation machanism kicked in, and he turned her down. Since then, this thick air of animosity sits between the two of them.

We're all painfully aware that she has sexually harassed her male colleagues and the morale is down whenever she is about. With the new lady starting, the boss is going to hand an official marching order to PG tomorrow.

I won't be there to witness the bloodbath that is sure to follow, but I do fear for my boss's and colleagues' safety and I hope they will survive her fury in one piece.
Fingers crossed.

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Deli's Best Selling Drinks in December 2007

1. Coca-Cola (Coca-cola Amatil)
2. Zero Coke (Coca-cola Amatil)
3. Diet Coke (Coca-cola Amatil)
4. Farmers Union Iced Coffee (Farmers Union)
5. Vanilla Coke (Coca-Cola Amatil)
6. Solo (Cadbury Schwepps)
7. Mount Franklin Spring Water (Coca-Cola Amatil)
8. Peach Iced Tea (Lipton)
9. Red Bull (Red Bull GmbH)
10. Feel Good Coffee (Farmers Union)