As I get older, more friends of mine are either seriously considering having children or have already embraced parenthood. And the prospect of having nieces and nephews is getting more realistic every day. Yes, it's a baby boom in my corner of the world.I adore my friends' children and I'm more than certain that I'll dote on my nieces and nephews too, when I have them. BUT the idea of having a baby myself does not appeal to me one iota.
I can't remember ever wanting children. When I was younger, people used to tell me that I'll get clucky when everyone around me starts having children. Well, people around me ARE having kids, and they are incredibly cute, yet, I can't even feel the tiniest stir. Occasionally, I stop and ponder to see if I have accidentally overlooked my inner urge to procreate. I might check again right now. Let's see....nup. Nothing. It's just the way I'm wired.
Then I located my missing maternal instinct. It had migrated all the way to Little Rock, Arkansas in The US. The Duggar Family (pictured) consists of staggering 17 (yes, that's right, SEVENTEEN) biological children, all from the same parents, including two sets of twins. And astonishingly, the couple Jim Bob and Michelle want more. The scene from The Meaning of Life where they sing "Every Sperm is Sacred" did come to mind as I read their story in utter fascination.
If that's not my worst nightmare, I don't know what is. But hey, if the Duggars are happy, then that's all that matters. Having said that, I'm really curious to know what the children think of their situation, particularly since the older kids are assigned to look after their younger siblings and are basically responsible for raising them.
In any case, I'm grateful to this family, because from now on, every time when someone asks me why I'm not going to have kids, I can just say "Well, the Duggars in the States are having them for me".
3 comments:
every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great
if a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate
lalalalala can't remember the rest lalalalala
I'm not sure if you've read a book called "We need to talk about Kevin" by Lionel Shriver? I haven't read it myself but recently read an article she wrote about the book in Marie Claire. And I guess reading your post reminded me of that article and how Shriver perceives motherhood. Although she has been dubbed as "Anti-mum" etc, I think she courageous and has a right, along with other women to choose not to have children. I know I personally would love to have children and did not understand women who told me they were not interested in having them. It reminds me of the quote:
"People take different roads seeking fulfillment & happiness. Just because they are not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost"--H Jackson Brown Jr.
Ok...before I carry on and get all political I'm going to say, good on you for choosing to live the life you know you want--with or without children.
Hi Anonymous, I have heard of "We Need to Talk About Kevin" and was thinking about buying it when I read the blurb at the book shop the other day. I wasn't aware of the author's "anti-mum" reputation, though, so thanks for letting me know. I will definitely get it now.
I googled Lionel Shriver's articles and interviews she has written/given upon reading your comment and found her views truly interesting. "Maternal ambivalence" is something I totally identified with.
It is difficult relating to people with vastly different views in fundamental values. I'm still guilty of judging those who chose different paths to mine once in a while, but I always try very hard not to do that. I loved the quote...it encapsulates what I wanted to say simply and beautifully. As you said, we all have the right to want/don't want different things in life.
Thank you for for your thought-provoking comment and support. Much appreciated! And when you become a parent, I wish you all the joy you'd hoped for and more.
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